Wednesday, August 6, 2014

Lessons Learned in the Valley

Have you ever gone through a time of walking through a deep valley in your relationship with the Lord? These last few years, I feel I have been through a deep valley and then climbed up a high mountain again with Jesus.  He has set my spirit free again as I have had to learn many lessons about trusting him completely when life seems to tumble completely out of control.  You see our family has gone through quite a lot of changes since I last wrote. I am now a grandma of two precious little ones who lived with us for a while but just recently they and their mom moved out this year.  I lost my father-in-law last year to leukemia.  He was a wonderful, godly man and is sorely missed.  I have begun to teach after receiving my Masters in May of 2012.  The struggles of teaching Intellectually Disabled children has proven to be quite a huge challenge.  Teaching in the public school has been a great joy but also has been quite a daunting task at times.  (This is one reason I have not kept up with my blog) 
Through all this time, I have gone through a process of grieving and in the midst at times forgot to trust in the promises of God.  I felt let down and disappointed about how "life" was turning out and for a time did not believe God was good.  During this time though, my Savior never left me.  I discovered during this time that he allowed me to struggle with the questions of trust and he allowed me to struggle with my anger and disappointment.  He never let me go though.  His Spirit would speak to my spirit in the night with thoughts of his Word.  Deuteronomy 31:6 says "Be strong and courageous; don't be terrified or afraid of them. For it is the LORD your God who goes with you; He will not leave you or forsake you." (HCSB)
I always knew he had me in the palm of his hand and he would not let me go even as my heart strayed from him.  John 10:29- " My Father, who has given them to Me, is greater than all. No one is able to snatch them out of the Father's hand."  (HSCB)
His loving arms were always around me even as I questions the "Why's" of this life and wondered what he was doing.  What was his plan?  
Finally, one day I knew the fighting in my spirit was over.  I had to surrender all the anger, shame, grief of broken dreams and realize that He is good, His promises never fail and that even though I do not see how he will work everything out for the good, it did not matter because all he was asking of me was to just TRUST HIM!  He reminded me that I had to just Believe Him and to ask him to forgive my Unbelief.  I had to surrender totally to his control and that no matter what seemed right to me did not matter because His ways are higher than my way.  
The day I surrendered to him my unbelief took me on a journey back to restoring the joy of my salvation, the journey of returning to my first love- spending time with HIM.  Filling my thoughts with only those things that were pleasing to HIM.  It has been quite a journey for my spirit these last few years.  I feel he has brought me full circle, back to where I was before my spirit chose to stray.  It is so true that he never leaves us, it is we that do the leaving.  He is so patient with us.  2 Peter 3:9 says "The Lord does not delay His promise, as some understand delay, but is patient with you, not wanting any to perish but all to come to repentance. (HSCB).  I have surrendered to Jesus my life, fresh and new, to be used however he sees fit.  I trust in his promises and pray I never go through those feelings of unbelief ever again.  The struggle has proven to show me "what is the length and width, height and depth of God's love, and to know the Messiah's love that surpasses knowledge, so you may be filled with all the fullness of God. " Eph. 3:18-19 (HCSB).  
I hope these words are an encouragement to others who may be going through a deep valley.  Never stop believing in his promises.  He is faithful, He is good.  Keep trusting HIM.